*Pulled from a myspace post so pictures/formatting are missing
n my "Indians of North America" (Anth 379) class here at school a couple weeks ago we watched a documentary called "In Who’s Honor" which details the struggles of some Native American groups to rid sports teams of their "racist" names against native people. I was really surprised at how many schools voluntarily changed their names back before the recent NCAA ruling on the matter.
Anyway I don’t want to take this blog into topics of political correctness, I have made up my mind on the subject and will discuss it with you if you want to talk about it later or something. However, The whole making teams change their mascots/names got me to thinking about what other non-Native American themed mascots could be forced to change in a crazy future envisioned by me... and my suggestion for new team names for them ;)
*note there are many teams I could of easily listed here, (especially since some nicknames are often used by multiple teams) but hey I had to draw a line somewhere with the number I could cover so feel free to comment with some of your own ideas.
Team: Minnesota Vikings
Whats wrong: Sure lets stereotype all Scandinavians as ruthless cut-throat guys with long hair, beards and rocking the horned helmets! When in fact many Vikings were actually farmers and I don’t believe there has been any evidence they really wore horned helmets...
New Mascot: The Muffin Man... Why you ask, well in my search to find something that defined Minnesota, I discover that Minnesota actually has an official State Muffin, who even knew states had "state muffins" (its Blueberry in case your wondering) The and be introduced with the poem/rhyme/song "Do you know the Muffin Man" yeah it’ll strike fear into the hearts of their opponents for sure!
Team: New York Giants
Why: You know its not ok to poke fun at abnormally large people, they have feelings too! People wouldn’t stand for a team called the "Midgets" so why allow a team to be called the Giants!
New Mascot: Ordinary Folk... Yep Ordinary, Average, Run of the Mill, these people aren’t freaks just standard people, sure it might not intimidate someone like a Giant... but at least they won’t be offending anyone
Team: New Orleans Saints
Why: Seems to be an attack on religion here, I doubt to many of the Saints would want to be associated with a football team. Catholics everywhere might some day rise up against this!
New Mascot: The Steamboats, this is a play off their importance as a port city on the Mississippi throughout history
Team: Notre Dame Fighting Irish
Why: This is pretty obvious.... Not only are they degrading Irish people, but they are openly calling them violent! Might as well have him holding a bottle of booze and a potato to complete the picture. I suppose "Touchdown Jesus" might also have to go for religious reasons.
New Mascot: The 4-leaf clover, this allows them to keep some of their Irish theme without being helpful, now they can be ummm lucky! or they could go with the Lucky Charms! and try to get the cereal mascot to replace theirs that would be at least a little less offensive and probably make them a good deal of sponsorship cash to boot.
Team: Boston Celtics
Why: Much like Notre Dame but atleast this time they aren’t "fighting"
New Mascot: Tea Party... yep going to the history books, they can all dress up in fancy clothes and have a little tea party at half-time, everyone will be cordial and friendly... it’ll be a hit
Team: Dallas Cowboys
Why: Well since natives are going after Indian names, we better take care of the other side of the equation, the negative images of Cowboys as rough tough frontiersmen who drank, fought and killed Indians.
New Mascot: The fluffy bunnies... nice calm, not dirty and violent, a perfect way to clean up their image
Well thats my list for today, though there are many other teams that should switch for their negative portrayals of people such as...
San Fran 49’ers, New York Yankee’s, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Pitsburg Pirates,Tennessee Volunteers, Washington Wizards, and Wake Forest Demon Deacons just to name a few!
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Dustin’s All-Stars:
This last section is for teams who stand out for their skill in picking the most non-offensive (though often boring) team names!
NCAA: (tie) Syracuse Orange and the Stanford Cardinals
Why: These two schools choose to represent themselves simply as colors, thats almost as non-offensive as you can be! Though it should be noted both of these schools used to be named with Native American themes.
NFL: Cleveland Browns
Why: Originally the "Brown Bombers" taken from the famous fighter Joe Louis, who liked his nickname and wasn’t offended.
NBA: Detroit Pistons
Why: This was a tough choice I was going to go with the Suns, but then I thought people who get sunburned or vampires might protest them. Then I was thinking the Denver nuggets, but a lot of people have died while trying to mine gold and a mine safety group could protest... so I figured a piston was pretty non-offensive... unless the Transformers are real :
WNBA: Chicago Sky
Why: like the NBA a lot of unoffensive names here, but yeah who could be offended by the air?
MLB: Philadelphia Phillies
Why: They are named after their home town, so they could only offend themselves?
NHL: Dallas Stars
Why: Originally the Minnesota North Stars, they are named after a star, which has only really been helpful to so far.
MLS: Columbus Crew
Why: They are just saying they are a crew/team, which is a description they fit so yeah and who cares about MLS anyway :P
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