Rules of the Road

Ok, I decided to officially compile my complete version of passenger responsibilities.  Now everyone likes going on a ride with there friends from time to time, but few people know the that there are actual jobs assigned to each person riding in the car! Knowing these simple job responsibilities could mean the difference between the most awesome road trip ever or the roadtrip to Hell





Seat Position #1 - Captain
Yes the fearless leader, the one calling the shots, and yes the one with the keys. The Captain job is of no small importance, without the captain this trip would be getting no where.


Responsibilities:


1. control of the radio - just remember not to cause a mutiny with your music taste


2. Driving - Some would think this is obvious


3. Tie Breaker - As the Captain you have the tie breaking power in any dispute while on the road
4. Delegating - Sometimes jobs come up that aren't covered or you don't have a full car, in this case its up to you to delegate these responsibilities to others.




Seat Position #2 - Shotgun
Ah, the coveted position of all road trip riders, shotgun! just remember that by calling this position you are also taking on a major responsibility.
Responsibilities:


1. Looking for and Shooting any Indians who may attack - this is your #1 priority, don't forget it. Many road trips have ended sadly when an Indian raiding party kills and scalps all abroad just because the person riding shotgun let their guard down... please heed this warning!


2. In the event of an epic guitar solo coming on the radio you may be force to perform the epic air guitar solo in order than the driver may keep both hands on the wheel.


 
Seat Position #3 - Navigator


Yes, the backseat driver... you love to hate them...
Responsibilities:


1. Remembering where the car is parked! that is your primary objective, don't let the captain down.


2. Keeping track of the map, if the car gets lost, it's your fault.


3. Knowing where the trip is heading, don't let other side missions make the crew forget what the final destination is.



Seat Position #4 - Head Cook
Can't have your crew starving you know!

Responsibilities:


1. Keeping track of the Cooler/Drinks


2. Suggesting places to eat at when asked


3. Reading signs for food places when looking for one.




 Seat Position #other - Doctor


Sometimes you have a fifth rider, doesn't mean they get a free ride! In the case of another rider your crew will benefit from having a Doctor onboard.Responsibilities:


1. Inquire regularly about the health of each member of the crew and report to the Captain.


2. If someone vomits.... you are cleaning it up




So there you go, I hope knowing these simple rules will help make your next trip successful and more pleasant






Special thanks to the people who rode with me when these ideas were getting hammered out, and for adding there ideas at the time... namely - Casey, Bruce, Chantel, and Steve

Kings Island

A picture from Kings Island!

Y.M.C.A.

May 18th 2006 - Life Plan

Originally posted on Myspace

My Future?

Ok, so I've been saying I'd make a blog for umm 4-5 months so now it happens so you can all rejoice (well hopefully someone reads it)

So I got home for Summer over a week ago and now am hunting for a job, yes sad times... no more being a bum and time to make some cash . Anyway it leads me to think of the question that everyone has been asking for years but I still have no answer too... "What do you want to do after school?"

People start asking you this question when you are in elementary school... well I've never had an answer and I still have no idea I mean I'm half way through getting my History degree... but what will I do with it... I don't know. Anyway back four or five years ago I came up with a top 3 future jobs list to keep people at bay.... So I will present them once again....

#3) Breadstick refiller at Fazzoli's-
Yes, that’s right... the dude who passes out the breadsticks every five mins or so to people sitting in the store. Sure the job isn't conventional, and many would frown on it, but honestly who doesn't love getting free breadsticks! delivered right to your table hot and fresh! The pay might not be great but think of the gratification you could earn in the smiles of the customers However, it would be wierd to be a forty year old man handing out the breadsticks, and every person working the job that I've seen either walked with a limp or was a foreigner... and I don't know how many more people I can trick into thinking I'm a Puerto Rican As for the limp, that could be arranged but I do like walking normal... So maybe this isn't the job for me after all

#2) Dictator of my own island country
Try to tell me that this wouldn't be an awesome job... yeah you know it would rock! Chillin out on the beach while hot women fan your body, because you are the beloved ruler of their country. I'd make Groundhog's day the country's largest day of celebration so everyone knew how cool it was... and our Flag would have a Jackalope on it! Yeah it'd be pretty awesome, and I'd be such a great leader I'm sure However, I do realize that there are several downfalls to this job, the first and most obvious is the lack of job positions, I mean I don't even know where I would apply at... I'd probably have to make a billion dollars doing something else just to have the funds to start my own country from scratch , Since I'm not in the army I can't do it Castro style so I'd be like 50 atleast before I could start . A second main problem is the high death rate, I mean most dictators are at an extreme risk for assassination, which wouldn't be that fun of a thing to experience, sure Castro has been in power forever, but can you name another dictator in power for more than 20 years? So this looks like an unlikely plan for my future...

So that brings us to #1.... Drum Roll Please..................

#1) Nomad
Yeah thats right, the dudes who live out in the desert and herd goats around and stuff. Yeah, Yeah, everyone says this is a retarded choice as a number one career back up plan or whatever, but I'm still sticking with it. Nomads get to wander around wherever they want! Sure you have to herd goats but hey I have experience I live on a farm and we have like twenty goats out in the barn, I'm sure I could survive leading them around and living off the land. It sounds like a fun challenge to me, though I am the man who wants to get on the TV show Survivor! Also if you’re a nomad you get to grow one of those cool nomad beards and no one will think it’s strange since you are a nomad! Also I would get to follow in the footsteps of my hero, Genghis Khan, the great Mongol Warlord! The man who conquered anything he wanted I could go on about how cool the great khan was but I'll save that for some other time... Some people will say but Dustin, you won't get any money and be poor and stuff, and to that I say who cares... I can just conquer the world if need be! Nomads live in Yurts and that is just cool, so if you see someone walking down the highway following 20 goats... just wave at me. Now there is one major downfall to being a nomad... no electricty =  no internet and we all know I'm addicted to internet... so that’s the only problem right now.

Anyway I hope you all enjoyed this blog, and maybe I've given you some new ideas for your future plans!

Also I think ending a blog with lyrics is dumb.... So I'll end it a smart way!

THE END

Original comments:

Bruce – Sounds like you got a mapped out plan

Chantel - You could be the awesome breadstick filler that is unique and stands out because he DOESN'T limp! *gasp*
 
Kris - Dustin... The man with a plan.... O yeah... You should be Duff man... How cool would that Be?